I hate that people think that the stuff they do in the dark will never come to light. If you are in a place in your life why do trouble or lairs find you . I have been pretty happy in my life being single and not having to worry about much except me and my boys. Yet I tried to be fair and give my ex the benefit of the doubt and of course it comes back and bite me in the butt. With me I have to have my cake all to myself yet his choice is to have his cake and then some more.
When I say if you are happy where you are and you can't answer it means you are. The only thing is you think I need you to act like you care about yet I don't. I'm strong enough on my own two feet and mental status that I don't need lies to feel like I'm loved. My family and friends have my back and will help me anytime I need. So don't hang around playing with my emotions to get your rocks off leave me be. A true man is around the corner and I don't need you to hazy the view.
If you love the person you are with why are you sniffing around my door. You say you are living with the choices I made then live with them. Now I can't be with you cause the truth is you love being with everyone and I'm not everyone I'm me and that is all i can be and I can do that to the best of my abilities and that is all. I'm not perfect but I am striving for perfection.
How dare you to have my children around some woman that I don't know. Especially when the last one actually tried to hit you with her car and is taking you to court and tyring to put you behind bars for the rest of your life. My children don't need that type of drama in their lives. My eight year old is not our son yet he is my son with the man I was with before you ever came along. Our three soon to be four year old don't need to know the psycho that may try to keep you away from him or even try to run you over with her car.
Showing posts with label Fustrated. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fustrated. Show all posts
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Rant Just To Rant
The test of patience and the beauty of grace have all been displayed in a matter of two days for me. I have been through my trials and the roller coaster still has not stopped to let me off. In my strength I survive and with my will I move forward. The greatest minds of the world all dealt with "what if" sometimes it becomes to much and to give in is to lay down and give in to an eternal sleep.
Know two things you will never take my will as long as there is a breathe in my body I will fight. By the grace of God I have enough support to back me even through the after life. No longer can you make me mad or even upset the only thing I can do is be me and love every minute of it.
Know two things you will never take my will as long as there is a breathe in my body I will fight. By the grace of God I have enough support to back me even through the after life. No longer can you make me mad or even upset the only thing I can do is be me and love every minute of it.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Check Ins
Why when you break up with someone there entire family act like they are so interested with you and what you have going on? I have spent the last 2 months really up and down about this situation. For me it has been really trying because they hardly called when me and D not unless there was something that they wanted or they wanted to see the baby. Now it is non-stop calling and I just wounder if they are checking in on me or are really wanting to talk to me.
How do you tell the unwanted callers without sounding rude that all the unnecessary calls are annoying without sounding mean or agitated? Hopefully they are checking on me entirely and will get a chance to read this. I care about you all but it is not necessary to call to check on me.
How do you tell the unwanted callers without sounding rude that all the unnecessary calls are annoying without sounding mean or agitated? Hopefully they are checking on me entirely and will get a chance to read this. I care about you all but it is not necessary to call to check on me.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Bad cut
How do you ask for a trim and end up with a actual hair cut? I don't know but every time I ask for a trim that is what I get. My hair will never grow out the way I want it to so I guess I will just have to live with it.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Can't Live With 'Em
I'm a pretty out going person I shall admit. For me I like honesty and despise lairs; and people who have a different set of rules for themselves than they do everyone else.
You can't get upset when someone does things that you do. I say this because I have been the victim of some of these alligations. I really care for D(my son's dad and suppose to be my man) yet he likes to do things that he if I did them I get accused of cheating. For instance staying out till 3:30 a.m. without calling to check in to me is a problem. I think that people when they say I will see you in a minute @ 9:30 p.m. that it means 10-15 minutes; not sneaking in in the wee hours of the morning. The worse part is that if it was me then I'm out with someone else. This leads me to believe that the reason that I get accused is that he is mixing up his late night activities with mine. When in a relationship I stay true I sometimes get caught up in loving the attention others might give me yet I don't go passed that. That might be the problem in itself; maybe I want more of this than it truly is.
The lies and sneakiness is making more of an impact on my life than I can imagine. I think the time has come for me to consider that releasing the past and embrace that it might just be that the only thing to come of this relationship was our son. Wishing that it could be more yet my better sense is leading me to the true facts.
Confused for the most part; angry for the time wasted; and just annoyed to be suckered in again. Leave a comment wanting to know what you think is the logical thing to do.
You can't get upset when someone does things that you do. I say this because I have been the victim of some of these alligations. I really care for D(my son's dad and suppose to be my man) yet he likes to do things that he if I did them I get accused of cheating. For instance staying out till 3:30 a.m. without calling to check in to me is a problem. I think that people when they say I will see you in a minute @ 9:30 p.m. that it means 10-15 minutes; not sneaking in in the wee hours of the morning. The worse part is that if it was me then I'm out with someone else. This leads me to believe that the reason that I get accused is that he is mixing up his late night activities with mine. When in a relationship I stay true I sometimes get caught up in loving the attention others might give me yet I don't go passed that. That might be the problem in itself; maybe I want more of this than it truly is.
The lies and sneakiness is making more of an impact on my life than I can imagine. I think the time has come for me to consider that releasing the past and embrace that it might just be that the only thing to come of this relationship was our son. Wishing that it could be more yet my better sense is leading me to the true facts.
Confused for the most part; angry for the time wasted; and just annoyed to be suckered in again. Leave a comment wanting to know what you think is the logical thing to do.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Our Children
This hits me close to my heart for it seems that our children are learning to be disrespectful; yet they are being supported by people who showed us the rights and wrongs of life. How is that a eighteen year old can live with her grandmother and run the household? My oldest god daughter use to be one of the sweetest souls, with a very bright future. Then a turn for the worse happen it seemed as though the grandmother wants to make up for the wrong she did against the parents. My best friends let her in and all the drama began. I believe that she has put in the god daughters head that the parents had more children because she was not good enough. Nothing could be further from the truth for they fought to have her as a part of their life and gave her more than she could ever ask for or truely need. To me it seems as though the grandmother just wanted to drive a wedge in the family cause she could no longer have total control, and my god daughter was starting to come into her own.
Although the grandmother looks really bad she was not alone. My god daughter got a boyfriend and she really started to conform to him and his ways. I wish she could see the difference in when she had her own identity to what she has become. Her bright smile faded into a suspicion of dark gloom. Her book knowledge became a suspicion of where is he and what is he doing. Her bright future is turning into a dim dark mirror of his future. At first he seem to be an okay guy. Meet the family and would come around. Once the destructiveness of the relationship became apparent my god daughter was of a age of I own my life even though I don't know the consequences. This is where the grandmother gets worse. She would say she is backing the parents yet all of her actions have showed other wise. The grandmother has literally tied the hands of the parents by enabling all my god daughters actions; and not demanding the things that her parents demand of her of her own grandchild.
When I was a child I was made to respect my elders. Growing up I worked hard to get the things I wanted. But most of all respect for myself was one of the most important things my parents and grandparents ever taught me. In the sad state of the world today we have to put a foot down and bring back the old ways and make it a community thing of raising children. Not Hindering the parents who do what they know is right for their children. Lead by example and get our children back.
For some it is to late to change their attitudes and teachings; yet for the ones that are not protect them. To my best friends I'm sorry for your loss cause I know the pains you went through trying to save that child. Just know that you have more to protect from this world and I can tell this will be the only one to get away.
Although the grandmother looks really bad she was not alone. My god daughter got a boyfriend and she really started to conform to him and his ways. I wish she could see the difference in when she had her own identity to what she has become. Her bright smile faded into a suspicion of dark gloom. Her book knowledge became a suspicion of where is he and what is he doing. Her bright future is turning into a dim dark mirror of his future. At first he seem to be an okay guy. Meet the family and would come around. Once the destructiveness of the relationship became apparent my god daughter was of a age of I own my life even though I don't know the consequences. This is where the grandmother gets worse. She would say she is backing the parents yet all of her actions have showed other wise. The grandmother has literally tied the hands of the parents by enabling all my god daughters actions; and not demanding the things that her parents demand of her of her own grandchild.
When I was a child I was made to respect my elders. Growing up I worked hard to get the things I wanted. But most of all respect for myself was one of the most important things my parents and grandparents ever taught me. In the sad state of the world today we have to put a foot down and bring back the old ways and make it a community thing of raising children. Not Hindering the parents who do what they know is right for their children. Lead by example and get our children back.
For some it is to late to change their attitudes and teachings; yet for the ones that are not protect them. To my best friends I'm sorry for your loss cause I know the pains you went through trying to save that child. Just know that you have more to protect from this world and I can tell this will be the only one to get away.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Out Of Control
How do an eighteen year old girl get a car when she is seventeen paid for in full and then let her boyfriend of one year and some months drive and keep her car? I can tell you because she lives with her crazy grandmother who lets her do what ever she wants; cause she doesn't want her to be mad at her. I have been with the same person for over five years but if he ever tried to take my car and just be rolling around it hell would have to freeze over. The sad truth of the matter is she thinks that because he is her first love is that if she gives him what he wants that he will love her unconditional. Sorry baby doll we all know that he has put his hands on you in one way or another; that was reason one to leave. Next if you go out together and pay for every thing all the time then you should know that he is no good. If you have dreams and they all start fading away then run and don't look back cause nothing is worth your future.
We use to talk now there is complete silence between us. Maybe it is because I won't hide the truth from you whether it hurts your feelings or not. Which I figure is the reason you hide out behind your grandmothers coat tails. There and only there can you escape the reaches of the real world. The cold hard and honest truth is the people that love you won't let/give you anything that you want without looking at it total affects on you. Just get it together; cause soon it will be to late to come back to the people that only want the best for you; you will look up and the bridges that connected to sound advice will be connected to air. Learn respect for your elders, just cause your grandmother seems to have lost all of her home training don't mean you should lose the home training your parents put into you.
We use to talk now there is complete silence between us. Maybe it is because I won't hide the truth from you whether it hurts your feelings or not. Which I figure is the reason you hide out behind your grandmothers coat tails. There and only there can you escape the reaches of the real world. The cold hard and honest truth is the people that love you won't let/give you anything that you want without looking at it total affects on you. Just get it together; cause soon it will be to late to come back to the people that only want the best for you; you will look up and the bridges that connected to sound advice will be connected to air. Learn respect for your elders, just cause your grandmother seems to have lost all of her home training don't mean you should lose the home training your parents put into you.
April Fools
Jokes on me today. I thought that time made things better, yet it seems to be making things worse. When someone says that they love you; my first thought is that they would show it instead of doing the exact oppsite. The time has come to get over your problems and not to wollow in them. Consistently contradiction oneself makes no sense. You have to move foward and make a life. I've had to take the lemons thrown at me and make lemonade to the point where I have overstock. Lately my life has reminded me of that movie Cruel Intentions. The games though have become very old. I've been out of high school for a very long time and a few people just keep pulling at my coat tails to try and drag me back.
I guess in time I will be completely past this. Hoping it happens soon.
Well I hate being so gloomy and down and out on one of the days that I love the most. I have to say to my Big Bro HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the original APRIL FOOL. Although I love pranks and jokes today just won't be that day for me. So to all who where looking for the laughs that I bring on this day my sincere apologies.
I guess in time I will be completely past this. Hoping it happens soon.
Well I hate being so gloomy and down and out on one of the days that I love the most. I have to say to my Big Bro HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the original APRIL FOOL. Although I love pranks and jokes today just won't be that day for me. So to all who where looking for the laughs that I bring on this day my sincere apologies.
Monday, March 30, 2009
MEN!!!!!!!!!!
I have finally figured out why men can't be with one woman and be happy. First we let them get away with too much; like doing what ever they want. Second they believe that because they are the man they have to wear the only pants in the house; our opinion does not matter unless it is the same as theirs. Third because unless you are a lesbian you need them for certain things.
I've had the worst weekend dealing with my man he thinks I'm literally stupid enough to believe what ever he says. Sorry if you don't come home especially when the kids are out of the house for the night you are a cheater and just couldn't leave where you where at because you are exhausted. Men need to learn to lock their phones so they are not making calls that they don't know they are making (what I refer to as but or bump calls). How can you accidentally call a person from a loud room where people are talking him included; then a few minutes later call from a completely quiet room talking about I was sleep. Tell me how does a phone just call me without someone doing it? I know my phone has never just randomly called anyone.
I'm stuck I really just want to find a man who can be with me and only me. When I find that man I will be open to him he just has to be open with me.
I've had the worst weekend dealing with my man he thinks I'm literally stupid enough to believe what ever he says. Sorry if you don't come home especially when the kids are out of the house for the night you are a cheater and just couldn't leave where you where at because you are exhausted. Men need to learn to lock their phones so they are not making calls that they don't know they are making (what I refer to as but or bump calls). How can you accidentally call a person from a loud room where people are talking him included; then a few minutes later call from a completely quiet room talking about I was sleep. Tell me how does a phone just call me without someone doing it? I know my phone has never just randomly called anyone.
I'm stuck I really just want to find a man who can be with me and only me. When I find that man I will be open to him he just has to be open with me.
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